RUMPELSTILTSKIN II

Once there was a miller who was poor, but who had a beautiful daughter. Now it happened that he had to go and speak to the king, and in order to make himself appear important he said to him, "I have a daughter who is a writer."

The king said to the miller, "That is an art which pleases me well; if your daughter is as clever as you say, bring her tomorrow to my palace, and I will put her to the test."

And when the girl was brought to him he took her into a room which was empty apart from a desk, a chair, some instructions for a writing activity, and an old PC with a noisy dot-matrix printer, and said, "Now set to work, and if by tomorrow morning early you have not completed the activity, you must die."

Thereupon he himself locked up the room, and left her in it alone. So there sat the poor miller's daughter, and for the life of her had no idea how to complete the activity as she never come across soya milk, and she grew more and more frightened, until at last she began to weep.

But all at once the door opened, and in came a little man, and said, "Good evening, mistress miller, why are you crying so?"

"Alas," answered the girl, "I have to complete this writing activity, and I do not know how to do it for I have never come across such a thing as soya milk."

"What will you give me," said the manikin, "if I do it for you?"

"My necklace," said the girl.

The little man took the necklace, seated himself in front of the desk, and began to type. His hands flew across the keyboard until the activity was complete and the printer was clattering away.

“You may soon need my services again,” declared the manikin and handed the miller’s daughter his business card. “Drop me an email.”

By daybreak the king was already there, and when he saw the results he was astonished and delighted at the use of imagery and the surprise ending, but his heart became greedier still. He had the miller's daughter taken back into the room and handed another activity and commanded her to complete that also in one night if she valued her life. The girl knew not how to help herself, and was crying (having realised the computer was not connected to the internet) when the door opened again, and the little man appeared, and said, "What will you give me if I complete this activity for you?"

"The ring on my finger," answered the girl.

The little man took the ring, and again began typing at a furious rate. By morning, the activity was finished.

The king rejoiced beyond measure at the piece of work, savouring the metaphors and delighting in the characterisation, but still he had not enough, and he had the miller's daughter sent back into the room, and said, "You must do this activity too, in the course of this night, and if you succeed, you shall be my wife."

Even if she be a miller's daughter, thought he, I could not find a richer wife in the whole world.

When the girl was alone the manikin came again for the third time, and said, "What will you give me if I do this activity for you this time also? I can see you have no idea what colour are wet slates!"

"I have nothing left that I could give," answered the girl, sliding her iPod out of sight.

"Then promise me, if you should become queen, to give me your first child."

Who knows whether that will ever happen, thought the miller's daughter, and, not knowing how else to help herself in this strait, she promised the manikin what he wanted, and for that he once again set the keyboard dancing.

And when the king came in the morning, and found all as he had wished, with every required phrase included in a naturalistic way, he took her in marriage, and the pretty miller's daughter became a queen. How delighted she was to marry a man three times her age, a man who a day earlier would have happily executed her on a whim.

A year later, she brought a beautiful child into the world, and she never gave a thought to the manikin. But suddenly he came into her room, and said, "Now give me what you promised."

The queen was horror-struck, and offered the manikin all the riches of the kingdom if he would leave her the child. But the manikin said, "No, something alive is dearer to me than all the treasures in the world."

Then the queen began to lament and cry, so that the manikin pitied her.

"I will give you three days," said he, "if by that time you find out my name, then shall you keep your child."

“No need,” she cried. “Your name’s Rumpelstiltskin; now be gone.”

"The devil has told you that! The devil has told you that," cried the little man, and in his anger he plunged his right foot so deep into the earth that his whole leg went in, and then in rage he pulled at his left leg so hard with both hands that he tore himself in two.

“What a temper” the young queen said to her maid. She glanced one last time at the little fellow’s business card – ‘Rumpelstiltskin: the Odd Job Manikin’ - before she tore it in two and threw it on the fire.

“I guess I won’t be requiring that again,” she sighed.